Found out yesterday that someone I despise (and I really don’t despise but a few people in the world) is now pregnant (too). Because she’s never dealt with any infertility, I’m pretty certain she peed on a stick and then announced the pregnancy a day later. So she’s probably about 4 weeks along, max.
She does not know about me. It would take a long time to explain all the reasons I can’t stand this person… but the short version is, she and her husband have really poor respect for boundaries. Here are some examples:
1) Bringing their toddler to my 40th birthday party and then asking if they can leave him in my husband’s and my bedroom with us OVERNIGHT to sleep (they got drunk and “couldn’t drive home”). I said no. Might have said HELL NO. That was the last time I allowed her in my home.
2) When she found out about miscarriage #1, she said, “Oh, my brother just had an unplanned pregnancy. Do you want me to find out if they want to give up the baby for adoption?” Wait, what? I just had a miscarriage. What are you talking about? Also? THANKS for the empathy!
3) When her husband found out about my miscarriage #2, he said, “Hey, at least you can get pregnant! Be grateful for that. My aunt couldn’t even get pregnant.” Yes. I should be grateful for that miscarriage at 11 weeks. Absolutely. You’re right. All that pain and rolling around on the floor and then feeling like an inadequate woman… yah. Totally reasons for feeling grateful!
4) Tried to argue me into agreeing that having only one child is “irresponsible” and psychologically harmful (to the child). (By the way, there is no evidence in the research that supports this.) Nevermind the fact that we will be lucky if we can HAVE “just one.” It didn’t occur to her that a lot of people just can’t have more than one. And other people don’t want more than one. And finally, her assertion was just wrong. (I was tempted to point out that she was not an only child, and she clearly was not all that psychologically sound herself.) Honestly, I think she’s one of those people who does things because “You just have to have 2 kids” in order to be “normal.”
There are so many examples of this couple being inappropriate (don’t get me started on the constant boob-staring, by the way).
So, this is all my horrible lead-up to saying this: I actually have been wishing miscarriage on them. Because I’m sick of their inane comments about mine. I want them to understand one day that they said some really stupid !@# things. I know, I know, the odds of them ever understanding anything (on an emotional level) are slim. Seriously – I think she’s got borderline personality disorder.
I’m just glad I don’t have to be around them anymore. Now if I can just get my mutual friends to stop giving me the gossip about them, I’ll be a lot more relaxed…..